The Allure, and Reality, of the Stage
For many professionals, the idea of standing on a stage, commanding attention, and sharing your story feels both thrilling and terrifying. Speaking isn’t just about microphones and slides; it’s about presence, influence, and connection. And it raises an important question: How can you grow as a speaker without losing authenticity, balance, or sanity along the way?
This is a challenge I’ve wrestled with personally.
Speaking has been woven into my DNA since the day I was born. From delivering a valedictorian address at my high school graduation to traveling the world to speak in France, I’ve begun turning speaking into a real lever for growth. It’s exciting, energizing, and has also required a series of intentional choices.
Here are some candid lessons from the journey of moving from free speaking gigs to paid opportunities, and ultimately, to global stages.
- Know Why You’re Speaking: Revenue or Reach?
One of the most overlooked questions is why you want to speak in the first place.
Do you see speaking as:
- A primary revenue driver (keynotes, conferences, retreats), or
- A marketing tool to grow your coaching or business services?
That distinction matters.
A keynote speaker pricing themselves at $10,000 needs a performance worthy of that fee. A coach leading a $500 workshop may view speaking as a way to build credibility and fill client pipelines.
Both are valid paths, but they require different strategies.
“You have to know whether you’re a coach who speaks, or a speaker who coaches. The answer shapes your goals, pricing, and positioning.” – me as a panelist in a recent speaker info session.
- Free Speaking Isn’t Free, If You’re Strategic
We’ve all been told to “say yes to free gigs,” and we’ve also been told: never speak for free. No mixed messages there.
The truth? There’s a difference between free speaking that builds momentum and free speaking that leads nowhere.
Speaking for a single company with no budget may not create future opportunities, but speaking to a room full of diverse leaders at a Chamber of Commerce event?
That’s fertile ground for referrals and visibility.
Even when money isn’t exchanged, you can still ask for value:
- Testimonials (written or video)
- Photos and recordings
- Referrals to other organizers
- Audience surveys you can use as proof of impact
The key is to make sure “free” is an investment in visibility or assets, not a drain on your energy.
- Deliver an Experience, Not a Speech
Audiences remember more than your words; they remember how you made them feel. That’s why I’m a big believer in minimalist slides and immersive experiences.
Instead of cluttering slides with data, I use hero images as cues, both for me and for the audience. The simplicity keeps the focus on connection rather than content overload.
Whether you opt for a fully slide-free approach or create leave-behinds like interactive workbooks, the goal remains the same: to create a memorable moment that extends beyond the stage.
- Authenticity Is Your Competitive Edge
Let’s be honest: the speaking industry is saturated. Event organizers are inundated with cookie-cutter pitches and templated titles.
What cuts through the noise isn’t polish; it’s humanity.
When I was pitching for an AI conference, the organizer told me most submissions looked nearly identical.
My differentiator? I leaned into authenticity.
While others were chasing algorithm-friendly buzzwords, I positioned myself as the speaker who would remind an AI audience of the human side of work.
In a world full of templated voices, your authenticity becomes your brand.
- Build Relationships, Not Just Reels
Speakers often obsess over highlight reels and marketing decks. And while yes, those matter, the real opportunities come from relationships.
Nearly all of my most successful speaking engagements have come through referrals, collaborations, and community connections. Podcasting has been especially powerful, as it offers both a platform to share my ideas and a relationship-building engine that has opened doors to bigger stages.
If you want to grow as a speaker, be in the room—both literally and figuratively. Attend conferences, nurture your networks, and follow up with people long after the applause has faded.
- Think Business, Not Just Stage Presence
Speaking isn’t just about performance; it’s about building a business.
That means:
- Having systems (CRM, contracts, workflows) in place
- Knowing how to price and negotiate
- Treating event organizers like long-term partners, not one-off gigs
Professionalism off-stage matters just as much as charisma on-stage. Being easy to work with, responsive, flexible, and engaged makes you referable…and in speaking, referrals are the real currency.
The Bottom Line: Speak With Purpose
Speaking can be exhilarating, rewarding, and yes, lucrative.
But it can also be exhausting if you’re chasing every stage without a strategy. The real win is aligning your speaking career with the bigger picture of your life and work.
For me, that alignment comes back to the message I share through The Modern Coach:
You can have a thriving career, business, and life—on your terms.
When you treat speaking not as a performance but as an authentic extension of who you are, you don’t just fill rooms.
You change them.
Want more thought leadership on authenticity, career growth, and coaching?
Join The Modern Coach community, subscribe to No More Mondays, or connect with me for coaching and workshops designed to help you thrive in work and life.
